I’m lazy. Like really lazy… I spend hours ‘researching’ the easiest ways to be an adult. And by that, I mean, lying on the couch, scrolling through Pinterest with the tv on in the background, until it’s time for my next meal… Fyi, this is not your normal life hack post.
The Problem
I’ve been trying to create the perfekt routine for years now. But, if I have an 8 am Pilates class on a Tuesday, for example, my ‘routine’ would be different to if I have a 6 pm cardio session on a Wednesday, or a 6 am run on a Saturday. Do I shower in the morning or only after a workout? What about rest days? Should I just ask Google how often a human should shower? These were the things that kept me up at night.
That is, until I realized I actually needed a set of protocols – for lack of a better word. You see, I was trying to create one routine that would ‘cover’ all eventualities. I would try to wake up at the same time every day, regardless of what time I went to bed or what I had to do that day. Then struggle to make an early Saturday morning run, because I’m not used to waking up that early. And there is absolutely no way I’m waking up at 5 every morning!
The Ultimate Hack
By now, ya’ll know my obsession with lists. Check lists, to do lists, lists of lists. The list goes on…
I now call them protocols and I have one for everything. Weekly and monthly checklists. Cleaning and shopping checklists. Summer and Winter checklists. People coming over checklist. 10-step skincare routine. I am working on a hospital ‘go’ bag.
I also have a pack list for self-catering accommodation stays. For plane carry-ons. Bike travel. Going to a party vs going to a special party. I do something I call my BEHNS… Brows. Ensemble. Hair. Nails. Shave. If you’re a girl you also probably have a particular order. If you’re a guy and rolling your eyes… Ever had your nail stuck in a razor, or your hair stuck in your nails? I always do the same makeup look, which is its own category.
The Workout Hack
I eat every 3 hours and try to eat an hour before an intense workout, the timing of the workout dictates my eating pattern for that day. I also require different equipment for different activities – yoga mat for Pilates, compression sleeves and special water bottle for running, large water bottle for cardio workouts. My protocol would include an eating schedule, a pack list and even what time I need to set my alarm.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I miss my alarm, or ignore it completely. But I know my body needs the rest and it only happens once in a while. So I go to one training session fasted, or stuffed. Trust me, you will only have coffee 15 minutes before a long run once…
The Food Hack
Food is something else that would normally need constant thought. Meal prep is extremely efficient. Though needing a bit of planning, pays off in the end. First, I usually have the same thing every week, so I know how many calories I’m consuming, what my macros are, and I can make adjustments as needed. This has the added benefit of having the same grocery list, and I prep the same 25 meals (including snacks) every week. and yes, my meal plan is coming.
This also makes it easy to prep my scraps for composting, because I make all the mess once. Thus, I clean up once. Told ya I was lazy! It takes me 2 minutes to get my lunch ready and maybe 5 for supper. Do you know what I do while most people are getting food ready – whatever the hell I want! But mostly the couch thing.
Mondays are my greatest adversary.
If I set my alarm for 6 am, and I miss it. I know it’ll derail my entire day, and maybe even my week. Because I didn’t manage to make that workout or didn’t have breakfast early enough, I might as well start over tomorrow – or next week… sound familiar? So I don’t set an alarm on a Monday. I schedule breakfast for 10:30 am. If I didn’t have a chance to go grocery shopping, I still have time to do it.
The Wardrobe Hack
I’m working on a capsule wardrobe. This is its own post. But I no longer buy new clothes, I replace them. This forces me to wear what I already own, and if I don’t or can’t, I ask myself some serious questions. Does it not fit, does it not serve its function, do I not like it, does it not match anything I own. Thus, I only keep clothes that I wear and wear the clothes I have (very few “only for special occasions” items). I also create uniforms, if you will. A uniform for shopping, eating out, school functions. No more sitting on my bed, wrapped in a towel, with my whole wardrobe on the floor with nothing to wear.
The Work Hack
The biggest protocol for work is my unending effort to go paperless. My printer broke about 3 years ago, so I use my husband’s printer, and I literally print 3 pages a month. So there is no new paper. I just have to sort the old paper. Which I never get to because I, too, procrastinate.
The Money Hack
I start saving for Christmas in January. I have previously gone into debt buying gifts, and I know I’m less likely to overspend if I have a set budget. My family knows I love them, I don’t need to go broke trying to prove it. You don’t expect anyone to do it for you.
The Death Of Me
Now, because the universe has decided to ruin me, my husband does not do any of this.
He holds on – to every.frikken.thing! To him, two is one and one is none. And while it does have its merits, we simply don’t have space for all of his twos. So, I have to hack him! First, he is only allotted a certain amount of space for a particular category. Once it has reached capacity, nothing can go in unless something comes out. He cooks, has spices for days, tries to put spices in the condiment cupboard, comes home to a reorganized spice cupboard – you know, the one where you check the expiry dates…
He is also averse to change. So I have to make small changes over time so he doesn’t notice. Or, I change things so they don’t work to get the change that I really want.
Some things though, you just have to let go. We don’t share a spice space, a wardrobe or a toothpaste tube – I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.
You
Wouldn’t it be amazing to wake up and not have to think about what you are going to do today, wear today, eat today? You don’t have to wonder as you head out the door if you forgot something. There’s no mad rush in the morning. There is no ‘I don’t have time for this’ or ‘I really want to but’…
So, instead, of just setting goals this year. Set protocols. Instead of a ‘To Do’ list, set an appointment – with a reminder.
A DREAM WRITTEN DOWN WITH A DATE BECOMES A GOAL. A GOAL BROKEN DOWN INTO STEPS BECOMES A PLAN. A PLAN BACKED BY ACTION MAKES YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.
Greg Reid
I had no idea that what I was doing was actually a trend. It’s called essentialism…
